Leaving Afghanistan Behind

On 24 Sept 2021, not long after the fall of Kabul, I started to share entries from the journal I kept on my last deployment to Afghanistan. I wanted to describe my experiences for two reasons, so other Afghan veterans might also share their stories, and to give some insight into what it was like for those who’d never deployed.  

In total, I created eleven blog posts with the content of that journal. I do confess to writing a few more journal entries back in March and April of 2010 that I could have shared but were so uneventful I decided not to. Honestly, you’re not missing anything; I wrote about a few days on leave in Europe and then about my return to theatre to wrap up the deployment. A post about tips and tricks on how to successfully polish parade boots would be more entertaining to read. 

However, the incredible thing about rewriting and reliving those journal entries has been that it feels like I just finished that deployment all over again. From the nervous enthusiasm at the beginning, the utter exhaustion halfway through, and all of it capped off by the relief when I left Afghanistan behind. 

The difference between my experience then and reliving it now, is that this time I know I’m not truly leaving Afghanistan behind. I brought it back, and it lives with me now. 

This last thought, “it lives with me now”, made me laugh as I wrote it. I instantly pictured me and Afghanistan living together like we were characters on some sort of 90’s sitcom, maybe in the style of Seinfeld... 

[John enters apartment] “Afghanistan what are you doing?”  

[Afghanistan looks up sheepishly from table full of wires and a jug of ANFO]  “ugghhh...a science project?” 

[John crosses arms, shakes head and looks exasperated] “Oh Afghanistan!!” 

[Laugh track cuts in] …scene. 

But in all seriousness, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, nor am I the first to come to this realization long after the fact. It’s also highly doubtful I’m the only one whose gone out of their way to avoid acknowledging it; leaving Afghanistan behind for some is harder than it is for others. Make sure you seek out help if you need it.

Among “the others” I include our government. While the fall of Afghanistan was upsetting to people like me who have strong feelings about it, it was further compounded by the embarrassing performance of our policy makers. Their collective foot dragging, and bureaucracy essentially led to an all but total abandonment of the interpreters and their families who were so integral to our successes there. In fact, Tom Yun, writing for CTV News, presented some pretty appalling stats on this: 

 “As of March 4, Canada has only resettled 8,580 of the promised 40,000 Afghan refugees since August 2021, after the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan. At this rate, it would take another two years meet the target of 40,000 refugees.”  

By comparison Canada has already accepted over 6200 refugees from Ukraine since January 2022. In this sense we are literally leaving Afghanistan behind. Only those we have will truly know the horrors we abandoned them to. Our collective Canadian conscience should be as troubled about this as those who served there and feel that abandonment deeply and personally. 

I also run an ongoing internal debate whether I count the CAF itself among the those who’ve had an easier time to leave Afghanistan behind than others. I’m not talking about the serving members, but rather the organization and senior leadership itself. In forgetting the lessons of Afghanistan, by leaving it behind, the organization finds itself watching a war rage in Ukraine in roughly the same condition or worse than at the beginning of every other major conflict since confederation. Understaffed, poorly equipped and questionably led. Yes, politics shapes defence policy but CAF leadership should be advocating for the organization and the people to our politicians to ensure its ready to respond to crisis, rather than being in an existential one itself.  

So, as I conclude this final blog post to wrap up the sharing of my Afghan journal, I ask two things: 

First, don’t leave Afghanistan behind. If you do, we also leave behind 158 of our war dead, all the wounded, our ideals, the lessons learned, and all people we worked so hard to help. For some, this will be a terrible burden to carry, but carry it proudly, for your deeds there were noble. For the others, help advocate for those carrying that personal burden and support efforts to resettle Afghan refugees. 

Lastly, ask yourself a question. Are you okay with leaving Ukraine behind without bothering to help them in their struggle? If the answer to that question is yes, then you’ve already left Afghanistan behind. 

Thank you for reading and all the best, 

John