Past, Present, Future

Apparently a common problem with the freedom one experiences post retirement is that it’s super tempting to put too many irons in the fire at once. I definitely fell into this trap.

I’m an idea guy by nature, so when the constraints of the code of service discipline (CSD), the Queens Regulations and Orders (QR&O’s), and the bloated bureaucracy of the CAF no longer held sway over me I tried to implement all my “great" ideas” simultaneously.

I’ll liken it to being submerged in a submarine for an extended period. After several hours the CO2 is slowly starting to build up, the O2 is starting to drop and everything is a bit dank, dark and depressing. Then you head to the surface or periscope depth (PD) to run the diesels and charge the batteries; the flood of fresh air circulating through the compartments elicits a physical and emotional rush as your body recognizes, at a cellular level, the instant improvement in your environment. You now have the energy and focus to tackle anything….or at least get a coffee. This is how it felt for me when I released.

Now I don’t want to impart the opinion that my experience in the CAF was dank or that I felt I was starved of oxygen. But when you remove the constraints that hierarchical organizations such as the military have in place to maintain discipline, that feeling of freedom, well it’s kind of similar to what I described on the subs!

So what irons did I have in the fire, about 3 too many. The biggest, that I didn’t really foresee being a problem was volunteering to be the Chief Executive Officer for a Federal political party’s Electoral District Association. With the set election date was still two years in the distance it didn’t seem like a big deal; run a few meetings, do some organizing, certainly nothing I couldn’t handle. So I was dismayed when the writ was dropped unexpectedly and I was plunged into a 36 day election campaign. I never knew what went on behind the scenes of an election but it is hard work and time consuming. Something had to give and the blog unfortunately had to be shelved temporarily.

It was a most inopportune time to have to put the blog on pause. Like most of the veteran community I was unsettled to watch the utter collapse of the Afghan National Army and Afghan security forces after the withdrawal of US troops from that country. The stranding of Canadian citizens, allies, interpreters and other enablers in Taliban occupied territory was hard to watch. That place, whether you served there, or had family or friends that did, occupies a part of your soul that not many Canadians will ever understand. I wanted to write about it, but there was so much emotion from every facet of the country I didn’t know what to write.

All of the coverage on television and social media made me think about my last tour so I started to look through my mementos and photos from Afghanistan. In the bottom on a plastic tote under a small Canada flag that flew on the radio antenna of my bison ambulance on my first tour was a journal I had kept when I was deployed on Task Force 3-09 with the Operation Mentor Liaison Team. The entries in it are pretty sporadic, I doubt it even really counts as a journal, but flipping though it briefly it’s incredible how much I’d already forgotten. If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be to journal regulary…and write neater.

So I think I’m going to share a few of the entries on the blog because that’s what this is supposed to be about. They’re not long, most are boring except when they aren’t which sums up war and the Afghan experience pretty well in my opinion.

Here’s one from twelve years ago yesterday. I hope you enjoy.

23 Sept 09

Yesterday sucked. We left for FOB Ramrod in the morning and didn’t get back until 2130. We had comms problems, engine trouble, it was super hot and to top it all off I had gastro and spent the night puking and shitting. I wanted to die. Today still felt sick but after lunch managed to get some work done on the UMS which I now deem good to go. Put all my kit back in the issued tac vest because HQ ambushed us and we got in shit for not being shaved and using non-issued kit. Did a VCP in the afternoon, uneventful other than the ANA Commandant firing his pistol like John Wayne.

FOB = Forward Operating Base

UMS = Unit Medical Station

VCP = Vehicle Control Point

ANA = Afghan National Army

HQ = Headquarters